Proof of pudding

Proof of a pudding is..... in the eating! No one else can experience those melt-in-your-mouth moments, the taste, texture, sensation, perfume, flavour, zest and scent of life other than you. I can describe it, rhyme it, but you will never know the decadent deliciousness or the deluded deception from words alone. Don't whisper words, show me - so I know, with all my being, what you are trying to tell me. The world is a forgotten library, shelved with unspoken words, uninvented ideas, unexpressed love, empty promises. Sometimes, it feels like the whole world is afraid of its own alchemy. Intentions are all too often a camouflage for inaction - a fog which dissipates with the sun or wind. Lets weave the best of of ourselves, plunge into the unknown, celebrate our bodies, express our minds, expose our souls, live the dream, bedazzle, dare, risk, plunge.

Here, now, be.... I am

Pendulum Between Worlds

I believe in dreams. In living as opposed to merely existing. In dancing rather than walking. In a strange epoch where people are required to offer on the alter third of their lives to exist, I want that third to be joy-filled, creative, soulful, thought-provoking, ecstatic, passionate, orgasmic, challenging... I oscillate between dream and reality, ordinary and fantasy, requirement and abandonment, necessity and extravagance. In a world where the only sentinel between living dreams and settling for mundane is fear, and the key for unlocking, hope, I continue to swing back and forth between the two worlds. Inhalation and exhalation of time reminds us that the only moment worthy of recognition is now....

to take that leap of faith

Fade Away

Despite intertwining souls and their significance, the yarn is untangled and rolled out into two separate strings. I'd like to think the lessons learnt, the past that made it what it is, means that there there is meaning, fondness and appreciation for all that was. Even if the person that you thought they were or wanted them to be doesn't turn out, what was once should still be. You don't change overnight or become clouded by delusions. The laughter, the love, the admiration and fondness should still remain. Perhaps not, when regrets stain the bedsheets and there is anger and blame you'd rather not place on yourself but on your once significant other. So your dreams can be softer, gentler than the judgment you place on others.

Do what you need to do.
Its ok, it'll all fade away, but you will always be.

Blame

It's easy to play with the truth, since there is no objectivity. To absolve the self from responsibility or to place the blame on another. It's all in the eyes of the beholder. And yet, its not easy to shoulder the blame based on someone else's version of the truth, or their omission. Even if one is honourable, one is not and still loses since the beholder is the judge, the executioner and the blamer. Once when you could do no wrong, now all you are is a mountain of blame.

Undercurrent

Below the seemingly calm ocean, a powerful backwash drags me under.
So potent and unforgiving, thoughts of you pulls me down over and over in an endless cycle. The tranquil azure surface are the words we feared to speak, you and I both. We silently understood though, as we always seem to pierce eachother's souls with a single glance. No longer possible these words, emotions - however ancient, however deep. So all there is is the stormy undercurrent.

My thoughts of you persist like the waves crashing the rocky shores in an infinite loop. Resisting anguish as my eyes, heartbeat, mind and soul betrays itself. Powerlessness against the your tide that takes me. I take a deep breath and surrender to my treacherous heart hoping to resurface to emerge whole to live and love someone other than you.

Pele

Goddess of fiery divine passion, she cares not for other's thoughts, judgments, conformity nor norms. Every breath she takes, she honours her true desires. Ecstasy, passion, sex, euphoria, fury, hatred, creativity, lust, loneliness, grief, jealousy, joy...

If the world said what they were truly thinking, expressed their true feelings, there would be no more exhausting pretense. Unmasked and naked, unashamed, proud, honest...God and goddesses we'd all be. Yet fear fills the lungs as we bite our lips, hide behind lies to survive, to endure, to tow the line.

choose and be, every moment.